Patience is not my strong suit. In fact it is something that I have always struggled with. Maybe that is why I have been given this trial to learn some patience. We have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now with no luck. It has been so discouraging because every month I believe this is the month and it isn't. It seems like every time I go to church I find out of someone else who is pregnant and I wonder why not me? Everyone I know seems to be having babies and I am not. Now no matter what, my kids are not going to be as close in age as I have always wanted.
Then I feel really guilty because of what I have been given. I have been blessed with three amazing beautiful girls, and the best husband in the world. We are all happy and healthy. I know of so many people who are not able to have any children or just one. Or people who are going through a lot of difficulties and here I am feeling sorry for myself. So right now I am trying very hard to as my grandma would say "keep my eye on the donut and not on the hole." I am trying to see the positive in all of this and stop pining for children that I don't have and really focus on and and enjoy the ones I have already been blessed with.
There is one thing that I know for sure- things do not happen in our timetable. Heavenly Father can see so much more than we can and He truly knows what is best for us. He gives us trials so that we can learn to grow close to Him and learn to put our trust in Him. Am I learning that from this trial? I think I am. I still have days when I get sad about it. But I want to trust in Heavenly Father because I do know that He knows what I need in my life better than I do. I have learned that over and over again. I can always look back on trials that I have had in the past and see the Lord's hand in my life and I am grateful that He knows what is best for me better than I do. So right now I am going to remember everything Heavenly Father has done for me and trust that when the time is right we will be blessed with another child.
6 comments:
Sorry you guys are having a hard time having another cute baby :) Just be patient and it will work out the way its supposed to, and don't feel bad for feeling sad about it. We all have our trials but the Lord definitely knows our limits and won't give us more than we can handle! Hang in there and it will happen! :) Love you guys!
ps..I can't believe Janie bug is 2! She looks so big! Her cake was way cute, I don't know how you do it!
Oh Binny, I'm so sorry :( I know that would be hard for you. Heck, that's hard for anybody! Hang in there. :(
On the other hand... STOP making all the rest of us look bad with your perfect cakes!! :) I still need to do a cake like that sometime. I know you say it's easy, but I'm not so sure. Jane 2?? That is crazy!
I am sorry. I have a hard time looking at things in a postive way too sometimes!!! It's ok to get frusterated!!! But yes do enjoy those little girlies that you have they are soooo darling. Take on my new motto!! One day at a time and make sure to enjoy that day to the fullest!!! Be grateful you get to stay home with those kids I miss being a stay at home mom sooooo much!! Love you!!!!
It will happen!
I'm glad you posted this. I have been wondering how you've been doing with the whole thing. I can only imagine what you go through every month. I am so grateful that you have the perspective you do and that you know Heavenly Father is at the helm of all of this. I know you're strong enough and patient enough to get through this! My love is with you!
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